Jay-Z is back again

Well… Jay-Z was gone for a little over a week, but he is back. No-one wants this little dog. And, unfortunately, he seems to really like it here. I can’t seem to break him of his bad habits and I swear that he is the dumbest dog I have ever worked with. He has grown enough that he can now jump any gate we have and can hop on any bed without missing a step. So every morning I wake up with Goofy laying on my pillow and Jay-Z somewhere else on the bed. The moment I start petting Goofy before I get up I get a 4 toed splayed paw right in the face as Jay-Z leaps over Goofy to start playing.

He is an energetic little thing but he has no clue that his claws scratch pretty bad. He has raked my arms, right cheek, and across my mouth on a number of occasions. I go to work looking like someone tried to cut me after he has gotten too excited.

Hopefully someone will take him in that can keep him and put up with him.

Maggie and Max come out for a visit

Hans brought Maggie and Max out for a doggy visit. Maggie just had surgery on her rear right foot to remove a cyst. It had been growing quickly and so it appeared to be cancer. They removed one toe so now the foot looks like a chicken foot. So, I called her “Chicken Foot” when playing with her.

Goofy and Clifford like Maggie and Max. But Satan’s Little Helper (aka Jay-Z) has a problem with Maggie so he had to be locked up separately. Maggie, Max, Goofy, and Clifford played outside for a while and then came inside and played more. Satan’s Little Helper couldn’t stand it and barked his head off from upstairs where he was sequestered with Mike in Mike’s room.

When Maggie and Max left after dinner we let Satan’s Little Helper out and he just went crazy dancing around and playing. He was so cute I almost thought that he was a good dog. Then he got into something just to remind me that he was not learning anything. At least he didn’t have any accidents.

Jay-Z is Satan’s Little Helper

I was working on doing a test installation in a VM for my new employer and I was letting the Simpsons play in the background. I got to the episode where Bart’s dog (Santa’s Little Helper) gets sick and we start seeing the world from the dog’s point of view. I had to stop and watch that episode because I think Jay-Z must think like that little dog.

So I am now calling Jay-Z “Satan’s Little Helper”.

Yesterday when I was leaving he got all excited and wanted to play. I don’t know what came over him. He started running around doing play bows to me and then followed me to the door. He then got up and watched through the window as I drove away. This is something that Goofy use to do when he was with me for about a year. Goofy has since stopped watching me leave as I think he has gotten accustomed to me always coming home to him.

Last night while I was working on the test installation Jay-Z appeared, slobbered on my keyboard and then disappeared. A bit later I realized that packaging from my trash can was all over the floor in the hall outside my office. That little monster is so destructive. Then I heard Mike bellow from upstairs that Jay-Z had pooped in his office while Mike was in his office. Just rolled my eyes.

I have never had a dog more than a week that couldn’t be house trained and this one has been here for 6. Most dogs at least try to let you know they need to go out before they have and accident and none do it right in front of you. But Jay-Z doesn’t seem to communicate.

I was up late last night trying to figure out why the application installed but wouldn’t start so I went right to sleep when I hit the bed. Goofy silently hopped in bed and laid beside me with his head on my pillow. I only know this because when I woke at 4am he was sleeping soundly against me with his back to me and his head on my pillow. (Here is Goofy McGoofface… aka Goofy… aka Goofball).

The thought in my head was “Goofball is a God send”. He was crazy at first and no-one wanted him but he snapped in shape with just a bit of work and he is the greatest dog I have had. But Jay-Z… not so much. The moment I started petting on Goofy Jay-Z came down from Mike’s room and jumped on the bed and put a paw right in my face. He then started biting on Goofy and trying to wrestle. Goofy would push him away and then come lay beside me for his morning pet-pet. But Jay-Z wouldn’t have that and started jumping on me. So, I got up and fed them. Jay-Z started trying to play bow to me and so I played back.

I think Jay-Z is just dumb but he isn’t mean. We have had mean ones and they can be tamed. Jay-Z just seems like he is stuck in eternal puppy mode even though he is over a year old. Maybe he will come around.

Jay-Z the butt sniffer

Well… we are going down hill with Jay-Z. He has figured out where he will get food. But now he starts barking his head off when you are in the pantry getting the food divided into the bowls. He has stopped biting at your pants and now tries to sneak up behind you and stick his nose in your butt.

Stop laughing. At least I shut the door to the bathroom when I take a shower. Neither Duane nor Mike seem to do that as I have heard both of them yelling at Jay-Z right after I hear the water turn off to the showers.

And the stupid dog is now counter surfing in the kitchen and bathroom and taking stuff back to his bed. I haven’t found anything that works with him. I have found that he can’t stand to have you blow in his face. So instead of fussing at him (which doesn’t work) I just blow in his face and stops whatever he is doing.

Jay-Z is unadoptable

This dog has to be the dumbest dog I have ever seen. He has not learned a single thing since being here. I can’t get him to know where to go sit to wait for food, can’t get him to learn paw, can’t get him house trained, and can’t get him to stop gathering up all of the toys in the house and guarding them in his bed. About the only thing the dog has learned not to do is bite at my pants leg when I walk near him.

This dog has the most basic brain I have seen.

Jay-Z is a cry baby

Oh my stars! Jay-Z is a basket case. He cried all night long. But he didn’t piss in his little room created by gating him in the hallway to the bathroom. But I let him out to take him to the back yard and he pissed the moment he got in the hall.

This evening when I got home I lost track of him. When Mike got home from whatever nerd game he is playing (Magic the Gathering? OMG, they actually are using paper cards. And I bet they are dressing up like wizards and sitting on some shag carpeted floor of the color of olive green) he started fussing that there was poop in his office.

Yep… Jay-Z prefers to poop in Mike’s office upstairs. I chuckled. I can’t smell it from my office.