Jay-Z is Satan’s Little Helper

I was working on doing a test installation in a VM for my new employer and I was letting the Simpsons play in the background. I got to the episode where Bart’s dog (Santa’s Little Helper) gets sick and we start seeing the world from the dog’s point of view. I had to stop and watch that episode because I think Jay-Z must think like that little dog.

So I am now calling Jay-Z “Satan’s Little Helper”.

Yesterday when I was leaving he got all excited and wanted to play. I don’t know what came over him. He started running around doing play bows to me and then followed me to the door. He then got up and watched through the window as I drove away. This is something that Goofy use to do when he was with me for about a year. Goofy has since stopped watching me leave as I think he has gotten accustomed to me always coming home to him.

Last night while I was working on the test installation Jay-Z appeared, slobbered on my keyboard and then disappeared. A bit later I realized that packaging from my trash can was all over the floor in the hall outside my office. That little monster is so destructive. Then I heard Mike bellow from upstairs that Jay-Z had pooped in his office while Mike was in his office. Just rolled my eyes.

I have never had a dog more than a week that couldn’t be house trained and this one has been here for 6. Most dogs at least try to let you know they need to go out before they have and accident and none do it right in front of you. But Jay-Z doesn’t seem to communicate.

I was up late last night trying to figure out why the application installed but wouldn’t start so I went right to sleep when I hit the bed. Goofy silently hopped in bed and laid beside me with his head on my pillow. I only know this because when I woke at 4am he was sleeping soundly against me with his back to me and his head on my pillow. (Here is Goofy McGoofface… aka Goofy… aka Goofball).

The thought in my head was “Goofball is a God send”. He was crazy at first and no-one wanted him but he snapped in shape with just a bit of work and he is the greatest dog I have had. But Jay-Z… not so much. The moment I started petting on Goofy Jay-Z came down from Mike’s room and jumped on the bed and put a paw right in my face. He then started biting on Goofy and trying to wrestle. Goofy would push him away and then come lay beside me for his morning pet-pet. But Jay-Z wouldn’t have that and started jumping on me. So, I got up and fed them. Jay-Z started trying to play bow to me and so I played back.

I think Jay-Z is just dumb but he isn’t mean. We have had mean ones and they can be tamed. Jay-Z just seems like he is stuck in eternal puppy mode even though he is over a year old. Maybe he will come around.

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